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Demented Ink.
Naruto Fanfiction // "Breaking Point" 
15th-Jan-2010 12:04 pm
cig mouth tie
Title: Breaking Point - Chapter Three (Final)
Series: Monoshizukanohi//Naruto AU
Author: Darkprism
Genre: Drama/Romance/KINK
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke
Word Count: Total ~16,000
Warnings/Notes: KINK: Toys, impact play, orgasm denial, mild humil, public play, smut, smut & more smut
Spoilers: None whatsoever.
Dedication: Fic is for Hoopi. Much love, girl.



Breathing like he’d just run a marathon Sasuke slowly walked over to the counter. He refused to look up into the mirror and see himself. He didn’t want to…he couldn’t even label everything he felt, wanted, or hated. But he knew if he saw his despair in the mirror, it would crush him.

Shaking, Sasuke bent over, braced his hands against the cool marble, and pushed his hips back. He spread his legs and felt the plug shift and didn’t try to stifle the choked sob that came from his mouth. Sweat made him feel hot under his suit, and his face flushed a deep red in both need and shame. It was too awful…he’d gotten so caught up in his own need that he failed his Master. He’d shamelessly tried to manipulate him countless times and failed Master with every one of them. It was too much…too much…Sasuke struggled to breathe.

Naruto waited until Sasuke was in position and then stalked over to him. Without a word he reached around and undid Sasuke’s pants, let them drop to expose his ass, the harness, and the plug. Sasuke felt a warm and heavy hand on the small of his back and closed his eyes.

“I’m done being kind, Sasuke,” Naruto growled. “You don’t know what to do with kindness.”

Without warning, Naruto’s hot hand smacked down on Sasuke’s skin. It jostled the plug, made his cock jerk in the cage, and Sasuke’s breath caught. The skin was still tender from the spanking earlier, and the sharp pain left behind a spider web of heat. He didn’t even have time to suck in air before the next blow fell…and the next…and the next…Naruto spanked him with full force and relentless strikes.

At first, Sasuke couldn’t even pull in air to make noise. He choked and shook, and flushed even redder. There was no where to go – the hand on his back pushed him down and held him still. When he eventually tried to jerk away from the stinging blows, Naruto grunted and braced Sasuke’s body against his own and pushed him flatter on the counter.
Sasuke gasped and cried out from behind closed lips. This humiliation was so much worse than the earlier spanking. Each blow shook the plug and reminded him how he got into this situation. And worse still, they were in the bathroom…people would hear…would know him to be a failure and that he deserved this cruelty.

“The door’s not even locked,” Naruto said as though reading Sasuke’s mind. He rubbed his hand over Sasuke’s heated flesh and brushed fingers over the base of the plug.

“What do you think the staff would think of you like this? Maybe I should let them have a go, eh?” Naruto struck Sasuke again. “Let them see how bad you are…”

Smack.

“How dirty and slutty you are…”

Smack.

“…for needing something like this.”

Sasuke gasped and tears flowed down his cheeks. The spanking burned and ached and hurt but god…it felt good. His cock stained the inside of his suit with an endless flow of wet, and he wanted…needed…

And that made him feel ashamed. Who was he to want or need…this wasn’t about him…and he didn’t deserve anything…didn’t…

“I’m sorry, Master,” Sasuke sobbed, voice sudden and shockingly loud. “Oh …god…I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll never do that again. But please don’t…I can’t stand it if you’re…and I’m so sorry!” He babbled more apologies as his body threatened to crumble with racking sobs. He cried and trembled, and didn’t care if people heard him now. He didn’t even care if the entire damned restaurant came in and spanked him. If it made Master happy…if it made him less disappointed…if that’s what he wanted…

Sasuke didn’t register that the blows had stopped and Naruto was making soft, crooning noises. Distraught, Sasuke shook uncontrollably and cried in earnest as Naruto pulled him up and turned him. Sasuke hiccoughed when his cheek pressed against Master’s shoulder and he felt arms around him, comforting, soothing.

“There’s my good boy,” Naruto said softly, his voice entirely different now. He rubbed Sasuke’s back, shifted him so he could reach down and pull up his pants. Sasuke sniffled and tried to breathe as Naruto put him back together and then pulled him back into an embrace.

“My beautiful raven…my perfect little pet…” Naruto whispered and stroked Sasuke’s hair, swaying a little like he comforted a child. Sasuke swallowed and finally caught his breath. He wrapped his arms hesitantly around Master at first and then gripped him like a lifeline. His brain was full of white noise…his vision didn’t seem to be working right…when he tried to put thought together, his mind rebelled and all he could do was hold onto Master tighter. He needed him. Wanted him.

“Let’s get out of here, baby,” Naruto whispered and in the back of Sasuke’s mind he knew that wasn’t right. They were in the middle of something, weren’t they?

“But…” Sasuke tried. Naruto lifted Sasuke into his arms and nuzzled him until Sasuke buried his face in the fabric of Naruto’s suit.

“Shh,” Naruto said. “Nothing matters to me but you.”

Sasuke felt like he was floating. He covered his face with an arm and breathed in Master’s smell. The suit jacket was rough on his skin, and he frowned. Pushing aside the jacket, Sasuke pressed his face into Master’s shirt and heard a door open. Sasuke vaguely heard alarmed voices when they left the bathroom, and he heard Master speak.

“Sasuke has a fever and fainted in the bathroom.”

“Should we call an ambulance, sir?” asked a very concerned male employee.

“No, but I’d like to go up to our room. I want to get him comfortable.”

“Of course, sir, of course.”

“Please tell my table I send regrets…and tell Mrs. Wilhelm to stop pestering me. My donation is coming.”

“Right away, sir. Your driver is Randall, correct?”

“Yes. Tell him the situation and that I’ll call him tomorrow.”

“Consider it done, sir.”

“Thank you.” They were moving again, and Sasuke made a soft noise against Master’s shirt. He wanted skin, wanted to touch, to please…

“Does he need a doctor, sir? I can have one sent up to your room.”

“No – he just needs rest.”

“Very well, sir.”

For a second they paused and Sasuke heard a soft ding.

“This service elevator will take you to the top floor. Take my master key; I’ll have someone come by tomorrow to fetch it.”

“Thanks,” Master said, voice a bit shocked but happy.

“The important thing is to get Mr. Uchiha well, sir. Please let us know if we may do anything to assist you.”

There was the sound of movement and then Master sighed. Lips pressed against Sasuke’s hair and the top of his head.

Then they were moving again. Master worked the electronic lock and entered their room, letting the weight of the door shut it behind them.

Sasuke felt strong arms shift him and then his body connected with the soft cushions of a chair. Master put him down so he leaned slightly sideways, and Sasuke was grateful. He blinked slowly a few times, and came back to himself a little. He still felt relaxed…peaceful…but some part of him yelled that he had no right to be that way.

Fingers smoothed over the space between his brows and slid to his temples. “Stop that,” Naruto said. And since it was an order, Sasuke obeyed.

“Let’s get you undressed.”

Sasuke stayed still while his Master tugged the jacket off Sasuke’s shoulders, worked the buttons on his shirt. He whimpered when Naruto bent down to untie his shoes, but Naruto shushed him again.

“Stand up for me,” Naruto said once everything but the pants was off. Sasuke stood and felt sure fingers undo his pants for the second time, and he shuddered hard at the memory of the first time not half an hour ago.

“Be still,” Naruto said, but the words were gentle. Sasuke obeyed and then stepped out of his clothing when Naruto tapped the top of each foot. Sasuke stood naked except for the cage, harness, and plug, and he blushed crimson.

With an amused chuckle, Naruto stepped to lift Sasuke back into his arms and carry him through the seating area and into the bedroom beyond it. Their room at Magnolia was done in the hotel’s traditional royal blue and gold. But everything was oversized, decadent, and modern unlike some of the other rooms that were full of antiques. The bedroom wasn’t as large as the one they had at home, but the bed was soft, the linens were softer, and there were more pillows than six people could need or want.

The headboard was solid oak with an odd and carefully designed mirror set into its front. More mirrors covered the walls in the bedroom and Sasuke blinked at one while Naruto flicked a switch to make the room swell with soft, yellow light.

Naruto walked over and set Sasuke down on the bed, and immediately Sasuke whined when the mattress forced the plug firmly into him. But he stayed where Master put him and didn’t say a thing.

With another soft chuckle, Naruto shrugged out of his suit jacket leaving him in a white silk dress shirt, loose midnight blue tie, and dark gray slacks. He kicked off his shoes and tore off his socks, eyes on Sasuke the entire time.

Putting one knee on the bed, Naruto leaned down and kissed Sasuke lightly, one hand trailing fingers over the raven’s cheekbone. Then Naruto crawled around Sasuke and shoved pillows together. He turned and flopped back against the cushioned headboard before reaching toward Sasuke. “C’mere.”

Sasuke crept over to him on hands and knees, and then paused not sure where to put himself.

“Face and straddle me,” Naruto said, and Sasuke was all too happy to obey. Legs going wide to split and balance on either side of Naruto’s lap, Sasuke put his hands on Naruto’s chest; eyes down, lips parted and dry.

“This is how I want you,” Naruto whispered and his fingers came up to steady Sasuke and push him down while Naruto’s leg rose slightly. The base of the plug made contact with Naruto’s thigh, and Sasuke panted once before shifting his weight to balance. It felt so good…everything felt too good. Master’s fingertips left blazing points of heat everywhere he touched. He radiated warmth and desire and Sasuke’s eyes slid half-closed while he focused on the light press of fingers at his hips.

Beneath Sasuke, Naruto’s leg pressed up while his hands pressed Sasuke down. The plug rocked in his body and Sasuke moaned in pure avarice. He was beyond knowing what he wanted…he didn’t care anymore. Pleasure, pain, everything, nothing…as long as Master was here and happy, Sasuke didn’t give a damn.

“Feel good?” Naruto whispered as he rocked Sasuke again.

Not trusting his voice, Sasuke merely nodded with a little whimper of need.

“Bet you want out of this,” Naruto said. One hand left Sasuke’s hip and grazed the slits of exposed skin on either side of the chastity cage. Again Sasuke nodded, more emphatically this time.

“Then get the key.”

It took a moment for Sasuke to understand the command. He blinked; large, dark eyes shining and pupils dilated. The key…keys were kept around Master’s neck on a thin, gold chain. He needed to get the key…which meant he needed to get to the chain.

Licking his lips, Sasuke touched the loose tie at Naruto’s throat before undoing the knot with shaky fingers. He felt the plug rock again and had to pause to breathe through the sensation before he managed to pull the silk from around Master’s collar. The fabric made a high-pitched zipping noise as it came free, and Sasuke dropped the tie onto the bed. His fingers went back and managed to work the tiny buttons free, exposing warm, tanned skin as he went.

The leg under Sasuke rocked up a little harder and Sasuke fell forward with a soft cry.

“Hurry up, boy,” Naruto murmured, turning his head to speak into Sasuke’s hair. “Or I might change my mind about undoing the cage and just fuck you with it on.”

“No, Master, please…” Sasuke rasped. He pushed away from Naruto’s chest and did his best to ignore the rocking as his fingers scrabbled for the chain. The clasp was nearly impossible to undo, and Sasuke made a frustrated noise as he finally got the damned thing unhooked. The key slid off easily and Sasuke held it out, unsure again.

Naruto took the small key from Sasuke and pushed gently on his chest. “Lean back.”

Sasuke obeyed immediately, letting his head and body fall backward and catching himself on his arms. His chest rose and fell and his world narrowed to the feel of Master keying open the little lock. Master’s fingers were warm on his skin as he undid the pins holding the rings together before sliding the metal cage down his reddened cock. Sasuke gasped when the awful ring of spikes was removed and Master rubbed his thumb over the indents they left behind. Sasuke cried out when the final ring slid from around his balls and at long last his sex was unconfined.

Sure, strong fingers wrapped around Sasuke’s dick even as another hand glided up his body. “I love watching you get hard for me,” Master husked. His fingers pinched one of Sasuke’s pierced nipples before gently tugging on the barbell in his flesh.

“Please, oh God, Master, don’t…I can’t…” Sasuke shook his head violently. He was already achingly hard, his balls up and tight against his body. He wasn’t going to last, but Master didn’t say he could get off.

“You don’t want me to make you come?” Master asked, amusement in his voice.

Sasuke whined.

“Sit up, baby.”

Somehow Sasuke righted himself, a drop of sweat trickling down the side of his face. He felt too hot – as if he really did have a fever. He loved the moments before imminent release…loved the feeling of Master’s hands on him, the touch, the pull of skin. He loved and shuddered.

“Move for me and watch me work.”

Sasuke rolled his body and rocked the plug on the hard muscle of Master’s thigh even as he looked down to see a tanned hand wrapped around his dripping length.

“Fuck, Master…oh fuck me…I need you, please…please…” Sasuke begged and rocked, steadying himself on the bed and on Naruto’s shoulder.

“I’ll fuck you after you come,” Naruto growled, hand working Sasuke faster. “Just a little longer…”

Sasuke’s mouth fell open and his body crackled with pleasure and need. “Can’t…stop…Master, stop no…please…”

He wanted to tell Master that if they stopped now he wouldn’t survive it. The sheer thundering craving he felt this close to release would make his heart stop. He babbled and mewled and trembled.

“Perfect,” Naruto whispered. “Come any time, baby. Scream for me.”

Sasuke rocked his body and the plug pressed on his prostate with exactly the right amount of gentle force. The world froze, time slowed, and he felt his muscles spasm, his body jerk, and the pleasure started in his ass and cock and ripped up his spine. His back bowed, his lower body clenched, and Sasuke wailed.

A strong arm wrapped around Sasuke and steadied him, but Sasuke was lost to a week’s worth of torture finally ending. The orgasm was intense enough to black out his vision, and he felt his thighs, cockhead, and lips go numb. There was pleasure so incredible it hurt, the sound of his own pulse and breathing in his ears, and something soft against his skin. Tears slid from the corners of his eyes, and he let himself float.

When Sasuke managed to focus again, he was on his stomach. He looked at his own hand lying next to his face and commanded his fingers to curl and uncurl. It took a second or two for the order to make it from brain to body.

The bed shifted and Sasuke felt lips press over his shoulder blade. Hot skin pressed along his side and covered part of his back.

“You with me?” Naruto asked, lips suckling and kissing Sasuke’s shoulder. Apparently enough time had passed for Naruto to remove his clothing. Sasuke slowly blinked and felt the wetness at the corner of his eyes.

“I’m here, Master,” Sasuke whispered. It was hard to make anything work, and talking was a true challenge.

Naruto sighed happily and bit into Sasuke’s skin, sucking and marking. When he was satisfied with the bruise his mouth created, he moved and licked down Sasuke’s spine. He stopped at the top of Sasuke’s ass and nibbled the firm flesh across Sasuke’s lower back. It was highly sensitive on a normal day…right now the attention nearly made Sasuke’s nerves threaten to overload.

Calling out with a sharp, surprised noise, Sasuke pushed up with his hips. He wanted more of that mouth, more of everything…his body began to pulse with heat again.

“Fuck yeah,” Naruto growled before biting and sliding skin between his teeth.

“Yes…yes…fuuuck yes,” Sasuke hissed and sighed. His fingers knotted in the shiny, blue comforter and he pressed his face against the mattress.

“Needy bitch,” Naruto gritted before shifting lower and biting into Sasuke’s tender ass. Pain sizzled and swirled before mating with the frenzied pleasure that refused to be overtaken by something so fleeting as the sting of teeth.

“Your needy bitch, Master,” Sasuke said, turning his head to speak. He barely sounded like himself: voice raw with emotion and lust.

With a graceful move of his body, Naruto positioned himself on his stomach between Sasuke’s spread legs. Supporting himself on one elbow, Naruto leaned back and playfully smacked the bruised and reddened globe of Sasuke’s ass.

Yes,” Sasuke hissed. “Fuck, yes, Master…again…please, please…”

Laughing, Naruto sat up and back on his heels. He brought a hand down on the other side and spanked down the back of Sasuke’s thigh.

Sasuke keened in pleasure and moaned. “Master…oh…” He gasped when he felt strong hands pull him backward, raising his ass in the air. Sasuke managed to notice that the harness was gone just before Naruto grabbed the base of the plug and pulled it out with one long, steady move.

“Mm-ah, God!” Sasuke yelled, the breath leaving his body with force. He felt his muscles clench and spasm without the plug to hold him open. Then pain sliced through Sasuke’s body as Naruto’s teeth bit down over and over again on the marks he put on the raven’s perfect cheeks. Sasuke squirmed and knew that tomorrow he’d be bruised black, blue, and purple…and another hot rush of pleasure made his pulse beat hard and dragged a groan from his lips.

Moments were lost to teeth and the hard slaps of skin-on-skin as Master worked Sasuke over yet again. By the time Naruto moved and pushed him down against the bed, his ass and thighs were nothing but over-sensitized nerve endings screaming in heated bliss. Sasuke yelled a string of curses and praise when he felt Master yank apart his cheeks and lick over his entrance. He felt the brush of Master’s thick hair as he turned his head and nibbled and nipped along the sides of Sasuke’s cleft. Eyes going wide, Sasuke thought he would come again from that sensation alone.

“O-oh,” Sasuke moaned. “Fuck me…please, oh god Master, fuck me.” He nearly screeched the plea as teeth pulled and tugged his skin. “Use me, fucking god…please…oh…”

Naruto chuckled as his tongue danced over Sasuke’s entrance one more time. “C’mon, bitch…you can beg better than that.”

With a hard swallow Sasuke struggled to think and stay still as he heard a popping noise from behind him. Naruto held Sasuke’s cheeks apart with one hand as he inserted a narrow tube into Sasuke’s body and squeezed cool lube into his depths.

“Make me believe you want it, slut,” Naruto murmured.

Hot hands ran teasingly over Sasuke’s skin. He turned his head and realized he lay with his head toward the top of the bed. The pillows were all gone – knocked aside in the thrash of pleasure and when Naruto moved them into this position. Sasuke saw his Master kneeling behind him in the mirror. He looked crazed with hunger and his blue eyes burned as he watched himself touch Sasuke.

“Master, you make me ache,” Sasuke said, eyes on Naruto’s reflection. “My body is yours, but I feel like I’m going to die. You can do anything you want to me, but I want your hard cock inside, driving me insane. I want to know you’re fucking me like you want to…telling me you don’t give a shit if I come or if I stay hard all night and can’t sleep I want you so bad.”

Sasuke had to pause and breathe. Naruto’s gaze darted up and caught Sasuke’s in the mirror. The yellow light of the room made Naruto’s eyes look nearly red, and his face was a solid mask of barely-restrained hunger. He looked angry in his intensity, and Sasuke’s hips lifted in unconscious desire.

Sasuke tilted his head a little to bare his neck and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. “You’ve got me wet and hard and I’ll do anything if you just fuck me. Make me burn. Make me hurt. Make me yours.”

Eyes on Sasuke’s, Naruto slowly rose to his knees. He pinched one bruised cheek and watched Sasuke’s mouth form a silent “Oh.” Then Sasuke focused again and watched and felt his Master line his thick cock up to his entrance. Naruto leaned forward onto his hands, and Sasuke nearly lost his mind at the tease of Master’s cock barely touching him so intimately.

“Push up,” Naruto commanded. “Work for it, Sas.”

With a loud, helpless whimper, Sasuke pulled his arms under his body. He pushed up with his knees and forearms and felt the flared head push past the ring of muscle. The view in the mirror was entrancing in its eroticism, and he shivered as he watched his body swallow more of Master’s length.

“Stop,” Naruto ordered. Sasuke’s body trembled with strain, but he obeyed. It was worth it when Naruto thrust slow and shallow into his body, the movement teasing and fucking incredible.

“God I love it when you make that noise,” Naruto rasped. His eyes fluttered shut in the mirror and his lips parted in a desperate pant as he struggled for control.

Sasuke blinked and realized he was making a continuous whine through tightly-pressed lips that would occasionally hitch in sheer need. He didn’t even know he was doing it. And if it made Master bite his lip like that, he would do it all the damned time.

Naruto shifted to put all his weight onto one arm and the other hand reached down to hold Sasuke still. Slowly, slowly he sank into Sasuke’s willing body and then pushed him back down onto the bed.

“So good, so good, Master,” Sasuke whisper-moaned.

“This is what I wanted,” Naruto husked in reply. He braced himself on either side of Sasuke’s body and pumped his cock in and out so slowly Sasuke thought he would burn alive.

“You…under me…willing and wanting it.”

Sasuke lifted his head and watched Naruto kiss his shoulder and pump his hips. His skin was slick with sweat, and Sasuke could smell Naruto’s cologne mixed with musk and sex.

“Please…don’t stop…don’t ever stop,” Sasuke whispered. He lifted his body to meet Naruto and moaned.

“Fuck…the way you sound when you beg and mean it.” Naruto rested his forehead against Sasuke’s shoulder and swiveled his hips as he moved. Sasuke felt like the cock inside him hit every single pleasurable point allowed and he gasped.

“I wanna fuck you like this all night,” Naruto said. He caught his breath when Sasuke’s back arched to meet his thrusts. “Fuck you slow and sweet and hold you down when you move and try to make me speed up. Feel you clench around me and hear you say my name and then watch you come without me touching your cock at all.”

Sasuke lost track of the mirror, the room, his body. He knew he made noise and pleaded. He felt himself arch and knew his fingers ached from clenching the covers. He shamelessly rubbed his cock on the bed, smearing pre-come everywhere and not caring.

“This is what you get when you give in, baby,” Naruto whispered. He sped up and his breath blew hot and fast against Sasuke’s neck.

“This is what you get when you remember who you belong to, remember how this works…”

Sasuke moaned his agreement and his promise to remember.

“God…” Naruto cursed under his breath and stopped talking as all his focus went into moving. The pace stayed steady and sure, and Sasuke writhed. He felt the orgasm just beyond his grasp, and the need for that release eclipsed everything else.

“Don’t stop, please fuck, Master, Naruto, don’t…oh god…”

“I won’t stop,” Naruto said breathily. “Not until you come like the perfect little cockslut you are.”

Sasuke’s eyes flew open sightlessly as he felt the pressure building in his body. Fuck it was slow…it was agony…every thrust pushed him a tiny bit closer and he wanted to scream. He did scream…he begged, pleaded, cussed, and mewled like a cat in heat.

“That’s it…so hot, baby…so good…”

The thrusts gained more momentum, and Sasuke couldn’t remember feeling so full and so close to the edge of oblivion. He rolled his eyes in their sockets and watched Naruto move. He clenched down and heard Naruto curse and felt him shudder. He raised his hips and met him push for push and just when Sasuke thought he might pass out, the pleasure spilled over and swirled through his body like wildfire.

“Mas-ter.” Sasuke groaned the two syllables, drawing them out and quaking with his ending. He felt Naruto push inside him with two hard thrusts, and then Sasuke shivered when Naruto froze above him.

“Oh fuck, baby, FUCK.”

Naruto came, breath catching and muscles tensing. Sasuke couldn’t move and didn’t make a sound when Naruto collapsed on top of him. The weight was hot and heavy, and Sasuke didn’t give a good damn if he suffocated.

The two men panted and breathed together for several minutes before Naruto finally shifted, withdrew from Sasuke’s body with a low grunt, and then rolled to the side. Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to move, though he knew he’d regret it in the morning if he didn’t at least get out of the soaking spot on the bed.

With a sigh and small groan, Naruto sat up and unceremoniously dragged Sasuke to him. The blond shifted them both off the bed in a drunken stagger so he could reach over and yank the covers back. Sasuke managed to bend and grab a couple of pillows before they both fell down onto the down mattress with identical sighs of relief.

“I can’t believe you made it through dinner,” Naruto grumbled, one arm over his eyes.

“Fucking sadist,” Sasuke sighed lovingly.

“Prissy bitch.”

Sasuke smiled, the banter old and familiar. His body demanded sleep, but his mind fretted and forced him to speak.

“Naruto…”

The blond grunted at him.

“I’m…” Sasuke faltered. He was sorry, he was wrong, he was tired, sore, sated, and at a loss for words.

Naruto rolled to his side and reached for Sasuke, pulling him closer. His lips found Sasuke’s mouth, and Naruto kissed the worry from his brain and the air out of his lungs.

“I’ll take every part of you, Sasuke,” Naruto mumbled against kiss-swollen lips. “You’re mine and I love you. Now shut up and sleep before I put you back in that cage.”

Sasuke chuckled and settled himself in his lover’s arms. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Mm,” Naruto hummed, half asleep. “s’always tomorrow…”

With a smile on his lips, Sasuke surrendered to sleep; loving and loved.

/fine
Comments 
18th-Jan-2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
10/10! I hope you will continue to bless us with such superb fics. ^^
20th-Jan-2010 04:30 am (UTC)
Oy. Try this again!

*laughs*

Thank you! :D
20th-Jan-2010 03:55 am (UTC)
Sasuke’s character was well developed, like I said before. I believed him when he let go, unlike every other (which aren’t many, admittedly) D/S story I’ve read.

I’m still hung up on Naruto. I don’t see him as the forceful type when it comes to people like this. I can’t really see him in either position but I believe that if you’ve convinced me of Sasuke, you can convince me of Naruto. I think while Sasuke’s character was really well developed over the story, Naruto’s was left for the reader to assume and imagine. If you could explain Naruto’s history, I think it’d make the story just perfect.

I like your style. I love the insight when it comes, like this:

“I’m done being kind, Sasuke,” Naruto growled. “You don’t know what to do with kindness.”

Hell to the fucking yes. That right there speaks volumes.
20th-Jan-2010 04:30 am (UTC)
Hi there!

Thank you for reading and commenting - much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed this little romp. XD

I do, actually, explain some of Naruto's history - just not here. This is a snippet of the greater Monoshizukanohi world wherein Naruto owns an international company and manages his late godfather's fiction estate and contracts (Jiraiya, obviously). Naruto and Sasuke are both approaching 25 here, and have been together since high school. More or less.

Naruto and Sasuke aren't actually my favorite couple - they're side characters in the 'verse, really - but I like this story fairly well. :D

Personally, I think that once Naruto grows up and assumes his destined role - be that Hokage in the anime or some other prime role - he'd be virtually unstoppable. Mature I see him as determined, considerate, passionate, insightful, and dominant. *shrug*

Regardless - you have my thanks for reading. Glad it was entertaining.

~*~
22nd-Apr-2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
Hi there... I know you told me not to hesitate to write long comments to express myself. Sorry but you are going to regret it...

I thought it would take a little time to read for of your work, but I didn’t plan to be drawn up inside like this. Then I read a few of them one after another.
I said yet I was in love with “Closet game”, and how much I enjoyed “Under my skin”. So then, innocently, following the link you so nicely gave me (thank you !), I clicked on the title “Undercurrents”.

And now I remember : maybe I’m mistaking, but aren’t you the one who wrote “Giving grace” last year, along with another writer ? I think it was lilaren, I remember her name cause her replies to comments were so kind. I read this story several times, and I was so surprised to enjoy a BDSM fic this much ! Not that I ve got anything against it, but usually the style and plot aren’t the best, and the action itself lacks in credibility. All things that won’t happen in your fics.

I was really amazed by this story, the quality and the universe. But as excellent as it was, the Monoshizukanohi world goes so much further.

Actually I was shocked, though it is not the kind of shock I dislike to receive (which is, if I manage to understand, the good initial state of mind)... I read “Undercurrents” first, then “Breaking the rules”, and I just finished “Breaking point” (and this one was the... best ? worst ? Why can’t I choose?). I followed the stories with some kind of amazment, and the thing which surprised me the most was that I liked them so much. Of course your talent is great, but the universe is so unlike anything I ever read or imagine, it was so strange...

It’s a strange thing to say (I wouldn’t in any place place but the Net...) but in fact I felt like a frightened virgin. And I just turned 33, godammit. I couldn’t believe it but I blushed reading “Breaking point”, I just thought “Come on girl, you can’t really be blushing !”.

I am totally amazed by the intensity of your stories. The sexual maturity necessary to create and master this universe deeply impresses me. I don’t understand how, but you intimately mix SM games with genuine love without distorting neither one nor the other. That’s unbelievable.

I’ll start reading “Rythm and bruise” (I really love your titles). If there are others sites or fandoms or anywhere where I can read more of you, please tell me...

Thanks ! For making me feel like a teenager again... ;)

2nd-May-2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Real life is rather busy at the moment.

However, I shared this comment immediately with a dear friend of mine, and I am truly thrilled you told me all this.

You see, I did *not* write "Giving Grace" or "Simple Submission" with Liralen. Starkwhite did.

However! I read those pieces of fiction a couple of years ago, and they stayed with me. I really enjoyed them, found the world very real and believable - all the things you said.

So, some six months ago, I was thrilled when Liralen and I started chatting over on Y!Gal.

And now I am pleased to tell you that she and I are working together on a bit of original fiction. It does involve BDSM, and it is set in my world (Monoshizukanohi with a facelift to make it more "Western").

It was so ironic that you left this note about her - and she was very pleased to hear you read and remember the story. And I'm honored that you thought it was me writing with her, as I truly enjoyed those pieces!

As for the rest of your comment, I am honored and humbled that you like the world, the stories, and everything in between. The fact that you blushed, (*smiles*) and reacted so strongly means the world to me.

And I do believe, as a personal philosophy, that D/s games and love go hand-in-hand. You don't have to be married to or in love with your partner, but...it takes trust and time and focus, and those are definitely three things that make up my definition of "love." To me, BDSM is another level of caring about someone that manages to combine lots of strong feelings, and I'm very happy that you see that coming through in the fiction I write.

Thank you.

"Rhythm & Bruise" is my personal favorite. There is a lot more written of that story than is currently posted. I plan on posting the next chapter of it once I finish posting "Closet Games" (the final chapter will go up tomorrow, most likely). I have the entire story laid out and ready to write, and it will be...dark and beautiful, I hope. *crosses fingers*

Thank YOU for reminding me why I love to write. I appreciate you and this comment more than you know.

<3
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