Darkprism (demented_dee) wrote,

Naruto Fanfiction // Deprivation // Chapter 5

Title: Deprivation
Series: Monoshizukanohi//Naruto AU
Author: Darkprism
Genre: Drama/Romance/Kink
Rating: Overall Mature, This part: Mature for D/s relationships, setup, adult imagery, language
Pairing: Kimimaro, Haku, and a Mystery Guest
Word Count: This section: ~3200
Warnings/Notes: D/s relationships, set in Monoshizukanohi AU, language, references to abuse, m/m sex
Spoilers: None whatsoever.

Summary:It’s been a year since Haku left Zabuza, saving his life but making him ache for what he’s lost. Kimimaro’s doing his best to help his friend, but at a great toll to himself. When Neji tells Kimimaro a VIP at Break wants a night of his time, hope bubbles up like a forgotten friend. But can the Mystery Lover really accept both Kimimaro and Haku and all the baggage that comes with them?

Getting the signed contract to Master Neji and working out final points of negotiation turned out to be the easy parts of the next few days. Master Neji was gracious and obviously pleased, and honest enough to say this would go over well for both Kimi and with the VIP whom Kimi would serve the following Saturday night. It made Kimi happy to know he could serve Neji, the club, and the mystery man, and he set about the task of waiting with what he thought would be his usual graceful manner. This was not the first time Kimi scheduled a Scene and had to wait, after all.

Despite his usual decorum, however, Kimimaro found work the following night nearly impossible. Every familiar face became a question: a game to play in Kimi’s mind as he tried to fit features onto the shadowy impression of an unknown Master. The man was mere figment: made of impressions given by handwriting, matter-of-fact prose, and the tips of curling letters on a whited-out signature.

But the figment threatened to drive Kimi out of what little sanity he had left.

When Masters Iruka and Kakashi came in – Kakashi in leather, harness, high collar, plugged and on lead with Iruka in a dark suit and fedora – and Iruka smiled and nodded at Kimimaro, the shadow lover became the friendly college professor. The thought made Kimimaro want to laugh, as he’d never seen two men more in love than Iruka and his devil-may-care submissive, and such a love was not…shared.

Master Kiba was there that night, too, and he was jovial with Master Neji, who was in attendance without his Shikamaru, as the Nara was home sick with a cold. Kimimaro knew Master Neji was only staying for a short while that night to greet two new members before he fled home to his lover. Watching Neji surreptitiously check his watch every five minutes made Kimi smile through his routine, and he knew that Neji was not a candidate. Nor was Kiba, as everyone knew his quest for a certain redheaded DJ was ongoing.

So, who, then, Kimimaro asked himself a dozen times, torturing himself as he danced for a small group of men and women familiar by face but not by name. None of them were VIPs, so Kimi discounted them out of hand, but when Masters Naruto and Sasuke came into the club and the Uchiha shot Kimi an amused smirk, Kimi nearly fell on his ass.

Recovering quickly and gyrating out of habit and muscle memory, Kimimaro comforted himself with the knowledge that he knew what Naruto’s handwriting looked like, and it was nothing like the gothic scrawl that covered the well-read pages in Kimimaro’s black folder. And Kimi smiled as he thought of Naruto’s reaction to the idea of Sasuke requesting a private Scene with anyone other than him. That would be…explosive. And truly, Kimimaro didn’t think Sasuke capable of the words of desire and dream that haunted Kimi while awake and asleep.

And Kimi thanked God for it.

Somehow, Kimimaro made it through two nights of work and one of leisure, and Haku was there with cards to distract Kimimaro while they watched recorded episodes of So You Think You Can Dance, which Kimi didn’t like but Haku loved.

And Haku was there to remind Kimi on Saturday to eat and shower and that it didn’t matter what Kimi wore.

“You’re only going to take it off, yes?” Haku asked.

With more nerves than sense in his body and mind, Kimimaro nodded, pulling on a t-shirt and old jeans with force and finality.

“Come hold me?”

Kimimaro dutifully obeyed, happily holding Haku and talking quietly about nothing until it was time to go.

“I wish I could drive you,” Haku said at the door. He stood with his hands behind his back and nibbled his lower lip.

“You’ll be here when I get back tomorrow?” Kimimaro asked, wanting to focus on what Haku could do as opposed to what he couldn’t.

“Yes,” Haku replied, nodding. “I’ll stay here…and be waiting.” The smile he gave Kimi was hesitant but genuine, and Kimimaro sighed with his entire body.

“Thank you,” he said, reaching to tuck hair behind Haku’s ear. The smaller man blushed and leaned into the touch.

“You’ll tell me…?” Haku asked, dark eyes searching Kimimaro’s for answers Kimi wished he had.

“I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

“En…enjoy it, Kimimaro. For both of us?”

“I will.” Kimimaro kissed Haku and turned to go before stalling made him late. The drive to Break was a blur, and Kimi parked his Toyota in tier one parking, getting out and climbing up the steps to reach the top of the plateau. Bliss was open tonight, Break was not, and the cathedral doors were open wide to the late-evening air. Kimimaro kept his head down as he went inside, turned right, and used a passkey shaped like a sword hanging from his keychain to open the door leading back to the office. He used the passkey again on the heavy, oak doors leading to Break, and Kimimaro descended the stone stairs with a heart that threatened to beat out of his chest.

The doors at the bottom of the stairs were open, the lights bolted into the stone walls of the ‘combs were lit, but the coat check was deserted. The doors into Break proper were closed, and Kimi passed by them on his way to his designated room. The hallway seemed far longer than usual, and Kimimaro’s hand shook as he reached for his passkey again to open the door to the room marked 13.

Fussing at himself for being such a nervous fool, Kimimaro walked into the room to find it lit, clean, and ready. The Crypts, as they were called, came equipped with some standard furniture: large bed, one chair, bench, trunk for linens, baskets for soiled laundry. A first aid kit was mounted on the wall next to a fire extinguisher, and there were condoms, wet wipes, and other such things on a table. The bathroom had a shower and tub, sink, and toilet.

Kimimaro let the door close and slowly walked to the foot of the queen-sized bed, arms crossing over his chest. The bed was stripped to the black flat sheet, but there were pillows and a folded blanket nearby in the chair. Bolted into the ground, the bed had no headboard or footboard; instead, metal plates with multiple rings were bolted into the stone wall at regular intervals above the head of the bed. The metal plates on the floor around the legs had more rings for attaching anything one wanted: straps to sub.

Tonight, Kimi saw, the bed was prepped with leather restraints that ran under the mattress and hung like black tongues down to the rug on the floor. Two chains came down from the metal plate behind the bed, and Kimi’s eyes followed the links to the heavy-duty, lined leather cuffs that rested benignly on the mattress. In front of the cuffs was a padded matching blindfold with buckling straps. Licking his lips, Kimi’s focus shifted to gaze at a rolling cart covered in a medical drape that stood near the bed. He could probably line-item list what the drape covered, but that didn’t stop his knees from feeling weak.

Swallowing and thinking about unknown Masters and letting the fear and anticipation make a boiling stew in his stomach, Kimi turned and sat on the very end of the bed. He knew someone was supposed to be here to help him. When Master Neji insisted on that stipulation, Kimimaro bowed to his will with carefully concealed amusement.

Now that he was here, however, Kimimaro found himself grateful to Neji for his foresight. Kimimaro hadn’t really let himself ponder the crazy, fearful, thrill it would be to get ready and lay and wait for his anonymous Master. That combined with his base emotional state might not…go very well.

Truly, Kimi thought, he needed tonight. Apparently he wasn’t thinking or feeling clearly on any front. It wasn’t like him to be so easily affected, despite the long list of mitigating factors.

Besides being practical, the helper might give Kimimaro some clue as to who the VIP would be. Secretly, Kimimaro suspected the helper was the VIP; it made sense for Master Neji to insist he be there and for the rest of the game. Get Kimi set up, pretend to leave, come back and –

A knock came at the door, and Kimimaro had just enough time to stand up before a very familiar man appeared in the room.

“Kimimaro,” Kakashi said, easy smile splitting his face as he closed the door. “Sorry I’m late.”

Mind whirling with possibilities, Kimimaro straightened to speak and bow, but Kakashi closed the distance between them and wrapped Kimimaro into a hug that shocked Kimi speechless. The gray-haired man said nothing, and Kimi’s mouth worked, trying to think of something to say. A note of gratitude or confusion or something.

“M-Master…Kakashi?” Kimimaro managed, and the other man hummed, the sound chiding, sarcastic, and affirmative all at once. Kimimaro hesitantly brought his arms up to hug the man back, and something strange happened: Kimi suddenly clung to Kakashi tightly. A rush of breathless anxiety, unsatisfied curiosity, unchecked hope, and undiluted need welled up in Kimi and filled him with cold terror.

“Safe,” Kakashi said, holding onto Kimi with strong arms. “You’re safe, I’m here for a while, and I’ve got you.”

For an awful moment, Kimimaro had no idea what in the hell was wrong with him, and he felt so ashamed he wanted to sink into the floor, despite Kakashi’s soothing words and soft sounds of reassurance. Realization hit, stone dropping into a frozen pond, and Kimi understood that he wanted Kakashi to be the unknown Master. Wanted it because Kakashi was safe and good and noble. But also because he knew how to love, and Kimimaro wanted so badly to be the focus of that kind of affection from someone who controlled and took away choice that Kimimaro’s lips lost feeling and he started to shake.

“I know it’s been a rough year,” Kakashi said gently. “Tonight’s going to be a good night, and I’m here to help you get it started, and if you want, I’ll watch the feed to make sure it goes like you need it to go.”

“Yes,” Kimimaro said immediately, voice rough in an odd mixture of relief and disappointment. If Kakashi watched from somewhere else, then…but maybe it was part of the game? Kimimaro didn’t know, and it wasn’t like him to try to figure out his Master’s wishes – even unknown Masters. He did as they wanted: how, when, where, and why. But he felt confused and lost and unable to do what he did best: please.

“No safewords with me, Kimi,” Kakashi said, pulling back to look Kimimaro in the eye. Kimi could only stare back at the mismatched, studious gaze, swallowing.

“You want to stop, you say, ‘I can’t do this, Kakashi’ or any variant thereof and you’re unbound and out of here with no recrimination from anyone.” Kakashi studied Kimimaro for a long few seconds before he seemed to see something that made him nod and smile. “But personally? I think you want this in a bad way, and if you let me, I’ll help you make a pretty picture for your mystery man. I know you agreeing to this and being here pleases him very, very much.” The smile grew wider, as Kimi’s breath caught, and for the life of him, Kimimaro couldn’t make his mouth work.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Kakashi said, one hand cupping Kimi’s cheek. “Let’s get you more comfortable?”

Kimimaro noticed that the tone and smile were light, but Kakashi’s eyes were intent. The bartender didn’t move or push or say anything else: just waited, patiently stroking Kimi’s cheekbone with one thumb. The touch soothed Kimimaro, and he sighed, upset with himself all over again for being so easy.

“Thank you, Master Kakashi.”

“No problem,” Kakashi answered, stepping away to stand by the bed.

His back to Kakashi, Kimimaro unceremoniously pulled off his t-shirt, shoes, socks, and jeans. He folded the clothing neatly and set it down on the bench, since he knew they weren’t scheduled to use it in any capacity tonight.

“You know,” Kakashi said as Kimimaro crawled onto the bed and, recalling the entire setup from the paperwork, turned to lie down on his back. “I’ve always wanted to know: how many do you have, exactly?” Kakashi brushed Kimimaro’s ear.

“I have 50 piercings,” Kimimaro answered respectfully as he shifted up on the bed and held up his wrists for the cuffs.

Kakashi whistled. “And you make them all look good.” Kakashi said, buckling on the cuffs. “Okay?” he asked when he was done, tugging on the binding.

Kimimaro tested the fit, happy to see that there was plenty of give in the chain and that the cuffs weren’t to be hooked together. He rested his arms on the bed and gave Kakashi a nod, making the gray-haired man hum tunelessly as he walked over to the cart to retrieve a small, plastic package from beneath the drape.

“You ever done the anonymous master bit?” Kakashi asked, returning and sitting on the bed next to Kimi.

“Not like this,” Kimimaro replied. “On the floor, blindfolded and not sure who did what, but not…” Kimimaro swallowed and thought of a stranger’s hands on his skin and shivered in want and curiosity and a hundred other things. “Not quite like this, Master Kakashi.”

Nodding, Kakashi reached to grab the blindfold and smiled at Kimimaro in a way that made heat rise to Kimi’s cheeks.

“Few things to go over,” Kakashi said. “That your mystery date wanted me to cover.”

“Of course,” Kimi answered.

“Safewords for the evening?”

“Yellow and red,” Kimi answered, thankful they were easy. Not that Kimimaro planned on using them.

“And I know you’ve negotiated a time limit along with the rest of the Scene, yes?” Kakashi asked. “An hour at most, isn't it? For the main event, I mean.”

Kimi nodded. “Master Neji felt that since I’ve not experienced…” Kimi smiled a little, not quite meeting Kakashi’s gaze. “The main event, as you say, that a time limit would be a good idea.”

Kakashi grunted, grinned, and winked. “Knows you don’t say ‘uncle’ regularly, does he?”

“It’s not usually necessary,” Kimimaro hedged.

Kakashi laughed. “Oh, God, that sounds familiar. Right. So clock there,” Kakashi pointed to a small table in easy line-of-sight from the bed. “And he added the straps to make sure you don’t flail yourself off the bed.” Kakashi grinned. “Never know how one’s going to react.”

Kimimaro’s lips tightened. “I do not…flail…Master Kakashi, with all due respect.”

“Of course not,” Kakashi said, expression unreadable. “How silly of me.” He grinned. “And your man’s agreed to all points.” Kakashi chuckled. “Almost eagerly. Which is weird for him.” He shook his head and winked again at Kimimaro.

The artfully-spilled detail about his Master for the evening made Kimimaro’s heart flutter and beat harder against his breastbone. “Thank you,” he whispered, eyes closing as he swallowed rising heat.

Kakashi spoke as though he didn’t hear Kimimaro, tone serious. “Now an important part: the sensory deprivation won’t add more risk, necessarily, as you’ll be able to talk. He didn’t want to lose the use of your mouth.” Kakashi flashed a grin that Kimimaro returned with a smile, calmer with every second he spent with the charismatic man.

“And he asked me to relay and remind you that he wants your voice,” Kakashi said, all business again. “Moan, plead, beg, ask, and by all means tell him how things feel.”

Kimimaro nodded. “I understand,” he said, taking the instructions again to heart, though he’d memorized the particular passage in the initial request letter that discussed how much his Master wanted to hear him.

“All good, then,” Kakashi said, smirking. “Talk ‘til you can’t do anything else but moan, right?”

“Erm, yes,” Kimimaro replied.

Chuckling, Kakashi moved closer to Kimimaro, eyes affectionate again as he reached to tip Kimi’s chin to make their gazes meet. “Here’s how this is going to work: I’m going to do the blindfold first, that’s easy. Then one ear, leaving the other undone. I’ll text the dom for the night, let him know we’re ready at that point, and he’s going to do the other ear. Sound like a plan?”

Kimimaro nodded, slowly, hoping with an intensity that made him ache that perhaps he’d get to hear a word or two before he was deprived of noise. It was an insane hope – not outlined anywhere in the agreement, and probably against what Master wanted for the Scene, but…a hope that existed, nonetheless.

“And I’ll be watching,” Kakashi said, thumb stroking Kimi’s cheek again. Kimi turned toward the touch and was shocked when a tiny noise escaped his throat.

“God…he’s going to love you,” Kakashi said with a sigh. “Hell, I do, and it’s been ten minutes. Usually harder to win me over.” He smiled.

“It’s been…longer than that,” Kimimaro pointed out quietly. “But I take your meaning.”

“Good,” Kakashi said, pleased. He picked up the blindfold, and Kimimaro dutifully raised his head. Kakashi had it on, in position, and buckled in a handful of seconds, and Kimimaro rested back down on the mattress, eyes closed behind the trap of darkness.

“Turn your head for me,” Kakashi said quietly, and Kimi obeyed, exposing one pierced, studded, and ringed ear. The earplug was wax, and Kimimaro held completely still as Kakashi manipulated it into place.

“Can you hear me now?” Kakashi asked.

“Yes?” Kimimaro asked, somewhat confused as one ear was still clear.


Kimimaro frowned, got the reference, and laughed, a surprised sound. The earlier nerves and swirling chaos faded further, leaving Kimi pleasantly eager and on edge.

Kakashi stroked one finger along the side of Kimi’s cheek. “Texting your date for the evening,” he said, and Kimimaro heard the faint clicking of a tiny keyboard. It didn’t escape Kimi’s attention that Kakashi did the text one-handed so that he could continue to touch Kimimaro. A nice bit of comfort; something Kakashi would think to do without really thinking at all. Kimimaro swallowed, hoping for so many things all at once that he had to force himself to breathe slowly and evenly.

I’m safe. I can do this.

Thinking of Haku’s eyes and promises he meant to keep to his young friend and lover, Kimimaro flexed his hands and bent his elbows, resting his arms on the bed. He felt his hair fanned out beneath him, and he pointed both his feet in a stretch before spreading his legs shoulder-width apart. He was comfortable, and he thought the simple pose would please.

“Nice, Kimimaro,” Kakashi praised.

Kimimaro was about to reply, but the door opened and the ability to speak vanished. Stunned silent by a racing heart, Kimimaro’s eyes rolled beneath their lids, and he licked dry lips.

Tags: fanfiction, monoshizukanohi, naruto
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