Darkprism (demented_dee) wrote,

Let's Grind to the Good

SO! There's been a lot of chatter here, there, and everywhere about a certain site that certain individuals 'round these parts hold near, dear, and nude to their chests...

Thanks to sources that I cannot disclose -- as I am a genteel and respectful Tour Guide who understands sources, particularly good ones, are a rare breed -- I'm going to cast my lot to attempt to dispel some of the nastier pieces of information concerning Y!Gallery out there.

Why, you ask? Well. Consider it a study in counter-weights.

For we all know, I'm about love, hope, and humor at the end of a long, chain-clanking day.

Rumor One: The site is gone for good. It has been shot, maimed, and dismembered, buried in a shallow, ungodly grave, and we should compose bad poetry in its honor that we scribble on mens underwear and hoist to the weeping heavens on phallic flag poles.

Not true. The admins, mods, and everyone else involved are working to get our safe haven back up and better than ever. It is not a lost cause, nor is it one that has lost it's shiny interest in the eyes of those who manage it.

Rumor Two: The site is being sold on the black market to a tiny tribe of pygmy people who wish to use it to resurrect, Umbobomagobbleck, the god of nail clippings.

The site is safe and sound in its owner's hands, who is chief among the people working to get it back up and running. And we all know the Martians have more gold than the Umbob worshipers, anyway.

Rumor Three: It's taking ages to fix the site because the Y!Gallery mods and sysadmins are busily donning red-stained robes of defeat and preparing the site to be a sacrifice to the little gods of weariness and the Greater Gods of Outmoded Computer Code.

The technical issues Y!Gallery has are complicated. Think Gordian Knots tying up princesses in another castle at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. While I will not wax technical, as I'm not qualified, I am in contact with someone who is, who assures me that magic -- even amazing, intelligent, practiced, orderly, and lucky magic -- takes time.

The best thing to do is throw qualified resumes at admin@y-gallery.net to take part in the battle happening at the bottom of the sea.

Rumor Four: The site is coming back online -- and soon! -- but it will require 100,000 pieces of gold and the blood of virginal gay men to partake in the bounty.

While there have been classically bad marketing decisions made in the past, (Chevy "No-Go" Nova in Mexico, and all those, "My period makes bleed blue and think of white, fluffy springtime!" Tampex commercials), there are no plans on making Y!Gallery the next victim by having members pay to use the site.

Rumor Five: The Twitter account wasn't hacked, the site isn't actually broken, but the government is paying the mods and sysamdmins in molten alien gold to gather donations from unsuspecting saps so that Obama and Sarah Palin can finally perform their life goal of reenacting the final scene from Thelma and Louise.

Oh come on. We all know Obama and Palin are more the Terminator types. And, in other Hair Club for Humanity news, the mods and sysadmins are not only gods, they are also users. Everybody wants to go home. We can help by tweeting @Support on Twitter to get the Y!Gallery ticket resolved and by practicing the ancient Chinese Kung Fu Dalai Llama art of patience.

Rumor Six: Y!Gallery will no longer require users to be naked during site perusal.

No. Just no. In fact, in an effort to curb underage, porn-obsessed fangirls and fanboys from making accounts, Y!Gallery plans on instilling a "Nude Visual ID Clause" that will require requesting applicants to send nude images of themselves in poses of their choice to demented-dee at godiwish dot com. Suggestions on ways to expedite said Visual ID approval will be released upon request.

Much love and hope this helps!

The fine print: all information based on current understanding and knowledge of parties involved. Entry is in no way intended to be a promise of service or future events. All information is subject to change pending intergalactic zombie war or other pertinent causes. Information was taken upon good faith and transmitted with pave-the-way-to-hell intentions. Some but not all of the information above was frivolous in nature. Misunderstanding on the part of the viewer is not the poster's responsibility, nor it is not the initial poster's responsibility to expound upon the punchlines. All serious questions will be met with honest answers. Complaints will be ignored. Whining shall incur the wrath of the initial poster who will generously apply large, wet, half-rotten herring to the bare flesh of the protester until the situation is resolved to satisfaction.

Tags: funny shit, journaling, y!gallery
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