Darkprism (demented_dee) wrote,

Book of the Living

First of all, I have to point everyone to the new Chaos and War's new Community Forum.

It's actually really, really cool. You can sign up for emails, get daily digests or weekly digests, post, start threads, leave love notes, and see what we're up to in one spot.

God bless the little gods of apps.

In other news, I feel I should share what the Hades has been up with me. It's a very long (lifelong, really) story, but I'll try (and likely fail, ya'll know me) to keep it short.

In July, I was diagnosed with the pre-cursors to some rather fun auto-immune disorders. Yes, in the plural. The "cure" for this was to drastically change my diet (think eliminating gluten, dairy, soy, wheat, and anything else that tastes good until something "takes"), change my medications, (one of which was keeping me pain-free in the guts department), add a metric ton of supplements (I take about twenty pills a day, one powder, one liquid, and I, sadly, can no longer eat the partridge in my pear tree, nor the pears... bark's okay, though) my work-out habits (the diet changes and the meds swap-up meant that doing that I'd been doing in the gym wasn't going to be good for me anymore), my "self-management" (sooo... I now have a massage therapist, standing chiro appointments, and an accupuncturist), and just about everything else you CAN change had to be.

...that was AFTER two deaths in my family.

...this was DURING my husband's emotional crisis brought about by a lifetime of stress and more recent and new responsibilities, to say nothing of taking care of ME.

...this was all going on as Liralen/Raine and I were writing Evantide & Li, New Amsterdam stories, and other fiction.

Oh, and in October, I met a man who is facing many of the same health issues as I am who was not schooled in how to HELP himself, as I was lucky enough to be, but only that he is sick. It broke my heart, I adore him, and we've formed a two-person support team.

And then, most recently, I discovered that someone who is very close to me and whom I care about very much has been considering suicide for quite some time. Date set, arrangements made, not a word said... until I thought something was strange and managed the right blend of pester, annoy, and concern to get the news.

Universe? This is me... crying uncle.

Or maybe just crying.

Suffice to say, I know this year's been rough on everyone, myself and those whom I love included. I want to thank everyone for the comments, the support, the reads, the purchases, the donations, the kindnesses, and all else. Thank you for existing, thank you for persevering, and thank you for your patience.

2013 will be better, so help me, God, but please do forgive me if I'm out of touch and out of updates for a while longer. I AM better! My chronic pain is working itself out, my health seems to be improving, and the battery of bloodwork I just had done indicates that what I am doing is, le gasp, WORKING.

I have faith. I have determination.

And ain't nobody got willpower like I do.

Reality. Will. Bend.

Love to all. Hugs to all. I care, and I miss you, and if you're surrounded by encroaching darkness think it's gonna win, despite your best efforts...

May the knowledge that while it can always get worse, it can also always get better somehow be a candle to guide your way.

Love, affection, and sincere gratitude,
Tags: gratitude, hope, journaling, pardon our construction dust
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