Lessons in Living: Chapter 8, The Truth Shall Set You FreeSeries:
Tenzou & Sai and other men in my Monoshizukanohi 'verseWord Count:
THIS chapter: language, hand job, D/s relationships, Daddy fetish, angst, ghosts, Kakashi's sarcasm, other. Spoilers:
A year ago, Tenzou lost the only man he ever loved, and the only man he believes he ever will love. So when an artistic prodigy many years Tenzou's junior enters his life with determined demands for love, play, and safe harbor, Tenzou is forced to face his past, remember his promises, and challenge his presumption that forever after is final. Chapter is dedicated to Chikao, who won the first bingo of the night during my last Read Along Party! Congrats!
Tenzou put the truck in park and shut off the headlights. He sat staring at his own front door for a long moment. He swallowed on a dry throat and then, for the first time since they'd left the Break parking lot, Tenzou looked at his passenger.
Sai rested with his head turned toward Tenzou. After they'd cooled down, they'd put Sai's clothing back on together, and it'd taken monumental effort on both their parts to get Sai situated and buckled into the seat. Tenzou had wanted to hold Sai, and Sai hadn't wanted to let go of Tenzou.
Now Sai appeared to be dozing, but stirred as though he could feel Tenzou's gaze upon him. Sai smiled. "I almost slept," he said.
Tenzou pulled his keys out of the ignition. "Stay there."
Tenzou's knees were weak when he stepped out of the car. He shut the door and slowly walked around to the other side. His right hand was stiff with Sai's dried cum, and Tenzou's cock remained at half mast, pressing against the fabric of his slacks. He took a deep, shaky breath, opened the truck's door, and helped Sai out and onto the driveway. Sai hummed and fell against Tenzou, drunk on the connection they currently, however tenuously, shared.
"Come on, Sai." Tenzou hugged Sai's shoulders and guided the kid into Tenzou's home. He bolted the door once they were inside, reluctant to take his hands off Sai, but forcing himself out of necessity. The grandfather clock ticked, and the buttons on the security alarm were too loud as Tenzou entered the code to secure the property.
"Oh." Sai stood in the foyer and spun in a circle. "It's so... you."
"Thanks," Tenzou replied. He hesitated. The decision to bring Sai home had been made while Tenzou was high on lust and endorphins. Taking Sai back to some looming castle home on a hill after hauling him out of Break and doing what they'd done in the truck had seemed wrong. It went against Tenzou's code of ethics to leave a partner alone after being so intimate in a Scene context. Going out for drinks or food was out of the picture, as Tenzou didn't think he could face humanity, much less protect Sai from too much interaction while they were out among crowds. Now that they were here, though, Tenzou wasn't sure what to do. A flicker of insecurity and embarrassment arose; he'd been so sure in the truck and in the moment. And now, here he was, staring at Sai staring at him.
"Something to drink," Tenzou stated, not making it a question. He gestured for Sai to follow and they walked down a narrow hallway and into the dining and kitchen area. Tenzou went to the sink and washed his hands. He dried them, opened the fridge, and squinted at the shock of bright light. He removed two bottles of water. He handed one to Sai, who took it, opened the cap, and drank. Sai's dark, dark eyes never left Tenzou, and Tenzou felt positively strip-searched beneath the adoring, calculating scrutiny.
"I can take you back to your place, if you like," Tenzou said softly, sipping at his own water and trying not to squirm.
Sai's frown appeared in a flash. "Why?"
"It's just an option, Sai." Tenzou sighed. "I don't want you to feel... obligated, somehow."
"Obligated," Sai repeated. His frown deepened. "I do not feel compelled or committed to being here. I don't want to be anywhere else."
"All right," Tenzou said amiably. He couldn't muster the patience or effort to explain himself or what he meant by "obligation." He wasn't even sure that was the right word. For now, Tenzou supposed, Sai being here made some sense, but Tenzou had to get it together and state the rules or the plan. If only he knew what in the hell either of those were.
The sink's faucet dripped. A gusty night breeze rustled the poplar tree outside the kitchen window. Sai set down his empty bottle and drew closer, slinking around the island. When he touched Tenzou's arm, Tenzou knew this needed to stop. The guilt-panic-fear fought with the physical need that pulsed to a war drum beat in Tenzou's veins. When Sai slid his fingers to Tenzou's stomach and south to Tenzou's belt, Tenzou jerked away and grabbed Sai's wrist. "No," Tenzou said.
"But I want to," Sai breathed. From anyone else, it might have been plaintive. From Sai, it was merely honest.
"This... is not obligation, either," Sai's deep voice rumbled, and he put his free hand back on Tenzou's belt. "I want to," Sai repeated, whispering, "Daddy," and undoing Tenzou's zipper.
Tenzou tried to say all sorts of things, but all that came out was a weak grunt. Sai's fingers were so gentle, unclasping belt and unfastening button. Sai stepped closer, and his hair was soft under Tenzou's chin and cheek. His bare upper body radiated warmth. He smelled like sex, sweat, and man. Tenzou gasped and shut his eyes when Sai's careful touch skimmed the underside of Tenzou's cock through Tenzou's underwear. Sai didn't try to pull it out or stroke or anything of the sort. He just petted Tenzou in a tender exploration that had Tenzou hard and rocking in seconds. Tenzou's hand found Sai's shoulder and squeezed, and he moaned when Sai took that as a hint to do the same to Tenzou's dick.
"I like this," Sai whispered, and the sound of their mingled breathing filled the moonlit kitchen. "I like this a lot." Sai grew bolder, cupping the shape of Tenzou in his palm and rubbing. The sensation kicked thought to the curb, and Tenzou bent his neck, lips brushing Sai's cheek. Sai tilted his head to the side, and Tenzou's mouth met throat. Tenzou licked along tendon.
"Oh..." Sai took hold of Tenzou's underwear with both hands. He drew it up, over, and down, and Tenzou sank teeth into Sai's neck the instant Sai's bare grip encircled Tenzou and stroked. Sai called out, but the noise was quiet and controlled.
Tenzou shuddered, got a handful of Sai's hair, and kneaded Sai's back. Want planted itself in his middle and sent roots to every inch of Tenzou's body, thickening his length further in Sai's slow-dragging fist. He shifted his weight and staggered, hip hitting the countertop. Sai went with him, pumping faster. Tenzou tried to get his voice to work, wanting to command, to praise, to direct, to do
something, but Sai's rumbling words cut Tenzou off before Tenzou could start.
"You're so long... And... God... hard. I did that. I'm doing
that." Sai's amazement was tangible, like an embrace all of its own. "You like this, too. Like me jerking your prick, making it bead up and... The shape of it... I want to taste it. Feel it. Put it in me. Draw it." Sai panted, and Tenzou had to grab the oven door handle to stop the room from spinning. It banged dully, the metallic noise echoing.
Sai pressed his forehead to Tenzou's shoulder, gaze down and watching what he was doing to Tenzou. "I want..." Tenzou felt and heard Sai's gulp. "I want this cock to consume
Tenzou would swear later that he actually blacked out for a second or two. When he came back to himself, he was holding Sai with bruising force and barking gritty orders in Sai's ear.
Sai sped up, breath quickening in time.
"Nngh... fuck. Harder."
Sai's grip drew tighter near to painful, and Tenzou hissed. He rolled into Sai's rhythm, biting and kissing anything he could. He could hear himself, growling and struggling and gasping, and God of all, yes, he wanted this. He wanted to get off. He wanted to let Sai do this for him and to him. He craved it with such sudden and vast intensity that it cracked a reflective surface spanning over a cavern of yawning need, and that... scared the immortal hell out of Tenzou. What lived in those trenches was scarred and old and had eyes that continually wept. It was huge, the thing that had survived underneath the frozen wastes, bigger than the tree and its limbs... the rest of the iceberg, hidden far, far, far below. Exposing Sai to that beast was akin to setting a budding sapling before a ravenous, wrathful forest god. The god might plant the sapling, let it grow... or the god might take the sapling between its teeth and listen to its death throes.
Tenzou couldn't expose Sai to the innermost workings of Tenzou's self. Not like this, not now, not... Just no. All at once, the hand on Tenzou didn't feel good, anymore; it felt threatening. Sai against him didn't feel comforting; it felt ominous. Fear flew like bats fleeing from that cave, and though Tenzou jerked and pulsed and clung to Sai, he bellowed a helpless, "STOP."
Sai did as directed, gasping for air. He got a hand on the back of Tenzou's neck and yanked Tenzou's face to his. Sai didn't kiss Tenzou, though, peering at him instead. Sai didn't ask a damned thing, but he didn't have to, really. His expression said it all.
Tenzou shook his head. "I..." He bit his lip on the apology. Mere words would not contain the sorrow that ate Tenzou alive from the inside.
"Daddy?" Sai asked.
"Tenzou," he corrected, shaking off a shiver. "Use... that name's only for... only when I say, okay?"
"Tenzou?" Sai asked in the exact same tone, as though to Sai there was no difference in title and name. No shame, no humiliation, no negative impact whatsoever.
Tenzou whimpered. He cleared his throat and got a hand around the one Sai still had encircling Tenzou's dick. "Stop," Tenzou whispered, and Sai's touch fell away without protest. Tenzou put his clothing back together.
"Did I... did I hurt you?" Sai asked. "I didn't mean to hurt--"
"No," Tenzou said firmly. He drew Sai close. "I... it's... ever since..."
"Please," Sai said after a long moment of Tenzou working for the explanation. Once again, Tenzou could tell the word was used in a last-ditch effort to gain understanding, not as a plea and not as most people would say it. For some crazy reason, that helped Tenzou find clarity.
"I've not gotten off since Jack died," Tenzou said dully.
Sai worked himself out of Tenzou's hug, staring into Tenzou's face. "Is it intentional?" Sai asked.
"No. I just... don't seem able."
Sai seemed to consider, and he did it without appearing hurt or frustrated. "Have you tried to get off with anyone else since he died?"
"No," Tenzou replied, voice raspy, but he made himself look Sai in the eye.
"Have you tried by yourself?"
"And you couldn't?"
"Oh." Sai chewed his lower lip. He sighed through his nose. "Did you want to orgasm while my hand was on your cock?" he asked in sincere innocence.
"Oh... yeah..." Tenzou's dick pulsed to remind him just exactly how much.
Sai's head tilted. "If you've not tried with anyone else, but wanted to with me, then--"
Tenzou pushed off the counter. He ran a hand through his hair, tried to pull Sai to him, again, but Sai shied away, looking Tenzou dead in the eyes... In the heart... soul.
There was no choice but the truth. "If you kept going and I couldn't, I'd... it'd be... I'd be too disappointed in myself, Sai. It's not you, nothing you did. I just couldn't... deal." Tenzou thought the confession might kill him, especially since what he didn't say was that if Sai had kept going and Tenzou couldn't finish, it would, somehow, translate to proof of his worst fear: that Tenzou was a broken man only meant to be kept company by ghosts of happiness long dead.
"Okay," Sai said, and the boy shook out tension right before Tenzou's eyes. Sai's smile was shy. "I understand."
"You... you do?" Tenzou hated the desperation that had snuck into his tone.
The smile vanished, replaced by heart-stopping seriousness. "Yes. I do. I wanted you. When we met in the gallery, I wanted you to take me home. I wanted you to keep talking. I wanted to know more. When I followed you, and you pinned me, and then you ran, I wanted to chase you. I wanted you to understand that what I wanted wasn't going to go away. When you called and asked to meet, I knew you did understand. You still try to lie to yourself, but you understand, even if you don't like it. And just now you weren't lying to anyone." Sai lifted a hand and touched Tenzou's lips. "I understand what it means to want something that involves another person so much that you think it will unmake you if it doesn't happen. I will wait until you're not afraid. I will wait until you see that what you want will remake you, instead."
Tenzou stared at Sai until his eyes watered, and Tenzou had to blink. Sai didn't seem to mind; he traced Tenzou's mouth and studied Tenzou's face without a single ounce of apprehension or inhibition.
Finally, Tenzou found his voice hiding behind his deeper internal organs and dragged it out for use. "We should get some sleep."
Sai brightened. "I want to sleep with you."
"There's a guest room," Tenzou countered.
"Why would I want to sleep in the--"
"Sai. Don't, okay? Just... don't argue this one with me."
Sai clearly didn't approve, but he gave Tenzou a tight nod. "Thank you," Tenzou said.
Together they walked through the house and up the stairs. Every part of Tenzou's body weighed a metric ton, and he had to concentrate to keep one foot moving in front of the other. Sai didn't seem as affected, but when they reached the guest room and Tenzou switched on the bedside lamp, Sai practically collapsed into a chair to take off his shoes and get out of his clothes.
"If you want a shower, there's a bathroom through there." Tenzou gestured to a closed door that hid a walk-in closet and full bath.
Sai nodded to show he'd heard, but left his clothing scattered near the chair and walked, gloriously nude, to the bed. He yanked down the covers, threw aside the pillows, and crawled onto the mattress. He settled on his stomach and sighed.
Tenzou reached for the lamp's switch and paused. "Sai?"
"Yes?" Sai propped up on his elbows.
"I want to apologize for breaking the rules tonight." Tenzou forced himself to say the words.
Sai blinked up at him. "You didn't."
Tenzou shook his head, barreling ahead. "Hauling you out of the club... Hell, going there in the first place. And the--"
Sai snarled a shockingly angry, incoherent curse. He was standing with his hand over Tenzou's mouth faster than Tenzou could register the movement. "We followed all the damned rules. You didn't hurt me. You helped
me." Tenzou tried to speak, but Sai stomped his foot. Most of its emphatic force got lost in the memory foam, however. "No!" Sai commanded.
Tenzou yanked Sai's hand away. "The truck, Sai, it's--"
"Not the club!" Sai yelled, completely exasperated and flailing his arms wildly. "You said we would not do anything in Break, and we did not! The truck is not in the club, not of the club, no... no preposition connected to the club!"
Tenzou stared at the furious boy who sincerely looked like he was going to deliver his next protest with a right hook, and Tenzou started to laugh. It bubbled up out of nowhere, and once he started, Tenzou couldn't stop.
"What's funny?" Sai demanded at volume, but Tenzou couldn't answer. He tried, but all that came out was a wheeze.
"Why are you laughing?" Sai repeated, but the anger faded and got replaced by curiosity and interest. "Are you laughing at me?"
"No," Tenzou managed, shaking his head and hanging on to the dresser. Sai hopped off the bed and crowded Tenzou, suddenly eager and studious.
"No," Tenzou repeated, getting a hold of his hysteria and wrestling it into its cage. "I'm... no. Sai, I... you're right. The truck wasn't the club."
"I know." Sai clucked his tongue. "That's what I just said."
"Precious," Tenzou murmured, hugging Sai for a ferocious second. He let go and nudged the boy toward the bed. Sai wouldn't budge, too intent on gazing at Tenzou.
"You're... you're almost cheerful."
"I'm exhausted, Sai. And so are you. Sleep." Another push. Sai ignored it.
"Is this what you're like when you almost get off? Because we should do that again. Soon."
"Bed, Sai. Now."
Mollified, Sai scrambled back into the guest bed, laying down on his belly and dutifully shutting his eyes. Tenzou switched off the light, hesitated for a fraction of a second, and kissed Sai's cheek.
"Good night, Sai."
"Good night, Tenzou."~*~
The alarm clock told Tenzou it was four-thirty in the morning, but it didn't seem to have any useful insight as to why in the hell Tenzou was conscious. He tossed and turned, he beat his pillow, he attempted to find a cool spot on the sheets, and he tried what had to be a hundred positions before he gave up and flopped onto his back. He ran his hands over his face, trying once again to shut his eyes and channel sleep.
All he saw in the landscape of his inner eye was Sai in the throes of orgasm, or Sai with the frustrated frown, or Sai with the open sincerity...
"Wait until you know that your want will remake you..."
Tenzou kicked off the covers and rolled out of bed. He flicked on the light. It was now five a.m., and Tenzou shook like he'd just downed eighteen shots of espresso. Sleep was not going to happen anymore, and Tenzou admitted defeat. He got up and got dressed for a run. Sanity and the voice of reason were trying to break through the mental fog made from the memory of domineering sexual activity with Sai, but Tenzou wanted no part of that conversation. He didn't want to think about what he'd done, what lines he'd crossed, or what came next. He wanted just a couple more hours of isolation from guilt and responsibility. Just a couple. It didn't seem too much to ask.
After stepping into his shoes, Tenzou perfunctorily stretched, and he thought he heard something. He paused, bent over with his hamstrings protesting, but all was silent. Shrugging it off, Tenzou stood, twisted, got his back to pop, and... there it was again. The noise.
Soundlessly, Tenzou walked out of his bedroom. Somewhere, a door's hinges creaked, and chill bumps rose on Tenzou's arms. He quickly crossed through his office and library, around the balcony overlooking the great room, and reached the guest room's threshold. The door was wide open, and Sai was sprawled across the bed, bare ass up, and evidently sound asleep. One foot hung off the edge of the mattress, and Sai's breathing was deep and even. Tenzou tore his eyes away from the vision of slumbering perfection and stared at the curtains hanging over the windows. They didn't move. He backed up and out of the room, into the middle of the hallway, and gazed in the direction of the in-law suite where Jack's paintings were stored and where Jack still... resided.
Faintly, a door clicked shut.
Tenzou was down the hall in front of Jack's old room in a heartbeat, but he stopped himself short of putting a hand on the doorknob. He licked his lips, forced his arm to fall, and at long last, he turned and retreated toward the stairs. He flew down them, ran for the front door, and was off and running in the early morning fog when his mind caught up to his body. He ran faster, ran like he was being chased, and in a way, Tenzou supposed, he was. He tore through mist and passed by trees, fields, and driveways, and it took a solid two miles for the rhythm of physical exertion to clear his brain enough to think straight.
Somehow, Tenzou needed to define the boundaries in his relationship with Sai. He could admit it was a relationship, and he could admit he cared for the boy, and Tenzou knew it was stupid to deny he wanted Sai in all sorts of compromising ways. And Tenzou didn't really want to contemplate Sai's insights into Tenzou's specialized breed of angst. The kid understood far too much, but Tenzou felt a sense of duty and responsibility to protect Sai, even and maybe especially from Tenzou's own insecurities. Sai had shown last night that he did, actually, have some grip on balancing what he wanted and respecting what Tenzou could allow at the pace that didn't drive Tenzou totally crazy. If Sai could do that, and if Sai could forgive Tenzou for not engaging in some of the more sexual activities that often accompanied a Scene relationship, then maybe Tenzou could still show Sai the ropes, so to speak, and also keep their exploration sane. Slow enough that Tenzou didn't think he was railroading Sai into situations Sai didn't truly understand at an emotional level. And, Tenzou had to admit, slow enough that Tenzou could... piece himself back together.
Tenzou took a sharp left, and he knew he was angry at himself when he had to slow his stride, else he outpace himself and lose control of his breathing. After another mile, Tenzou realized he didn't like the idea of healing himself with Sai. Not entirely. On one hand, it went with every principle Tenzou espoused when it came to Scene. Establishing trust and building confidence in both parties was one of the glorious things that happened when Scene was executed well.
On the other hand, it seemed like Tenzou was inadvertently asking a lot of Sai in the arrangement. Or maybe Tenzou didn't want to put too much faith in the idea that Tenzou would come out of this exploration any more whole than he already was. That danced too closely to Tenzou's deeper fears. If Tenzou depended too much on Sai and what they were doing to help, or, God help Tenzou, fix him, then the expectations compounded into a nightmare from which Tenzou would not wake if the relationship didn't work or fell apart.
All of which begged the question: what in the hell was Tenzou supposed to do? He'd promised the kid Scene. Tenzou knew he could extricate himself from that if he had to, but he didn't want to. The disappointment in Sai's eyes would kill Tenzou faster than a sword through the heart.
Tenzou hadn't, however, promised anything when it came to sex. All their negotiations and discussions focused on Scene. In fact, even though they'd done more than Tenzou anticipated last night, they'd stuck to the primary rules, kept it to Scene and to Sai getting off, and he'd told Sai his dirty secret about the lack of orgasmic potential on his side of the equation. Things hadn't gone too far; they'd gone just far enough to showcase limits in all their painful, frustrating glory.
So now all Tenzou had to do was reinforce their Scene connection and explain in Sai-specific terms what could and couldn't happen sexually. That was where Tenzou could draw his lines, hold his boundaries, and maybe get the chance to do some mental catch-up.
...Right. Easy. Totally easy. It wasn't like Sai was the most desirable creature Tenzou had run into since Jack had died or anything.
Tenzou gnashed teeth, and he ran his last mile in one of his best times. He jogged the length of his driveway, enjoying the view of the sunrise, and crept back into the house. Tenzou knew Sai was awake because the lights in the great room, hallway, and dining room were blazing, and Tenzou heard Sai's voice. Tenzou stopped to grab a towel out of the bathroom along the way, and trotted around the corner into the kitchen.
"I don't know much about friendship," Sai was saying into Tenzou's phone. Sai was perched on top of the kitchen island, cross-legged, barefoot, and wearing the pants he'd worn to Break the night before. He had a stack of white paper in front of him and a promotional pen from Tenzou's company in one hand. Scattered around Sai in a loose circle were pieces of paper covered in ink sketches. All of them were of Tenzou, and in most of them, Tenzou was naked and balls deep in Sai. Tenzou swallowed, cock coming to life.
"Oh. He's here, now." Sai peeled the phone away from his ear and held it out to Tenzou.
"Who is it?" Tenzou asked, although he had a fairly good idea.
"Kakashi," Sai answered.
"You called Kakashi?"
Sai's, Are you insane?
expression was getting more and more familiar. "No. I don't have his number."
"So you answered my phone?"
"It was ringing." Sai went back to his sketches.
"Of course it was," Tenzou muttered. He sighed and held the phone to his ear. "Hatake."
"I let you out of my sight for ten freakin' minutes, and this
is what you do?" Kakashi asked, so very pleased and amused with himself.
"I know," Tenzou muttered. "Just imagine what I'd do in a solid week without your interference."
"No, no, let me get this straight, because God knows I've been hearing about it all night and morning."
"You've what?" Tenzou's heart sank into his guts and rolled around.
"The great and former master Tenzou, teacher of all the younger kinky generation, martyr on the altar of love's suffering, keeper of the fiercest frown of all time--"
"Kakashi," Tenzou tried to interrupt, but it was no use.
"Not seen in your own club in months, and you march in with one of the most... shall we say, endearing? Submissives anyone has, apparently, seen in a long time. Kiba had all kinds of fun on Twitter, by the way."
Tenzou put his forehead on the counter. "Uh huh."
"So did Naruto."
Kakashi chuckled and adopted the movie voice-over tone again: "Only to be accosted by the creepy fuck that Itachi decided to bring as a guest solely to annoy the status quo, I think, and when it looks like our sweet Sai is on the brink of self-destruction--"
"Kakashi, I really might have to kill you."
"Don't," Sai said from his perch.
"--the Dom of the Universe emerges from his icy cocoon to claim, demand, and haul Sai's fine ass out of the club, barreling over Neji and Shikamaru in the process -- Neji was quite
"I live to provide his majesty entertainment," Tenzou deadpanned.
"--and spend what, from the eye-witness accounts said, appeared to be one hell of a foggy fun half hour in the front seat of your Hummer. An ever-so-appropriately named vehicle, that."
Tenzou could actually hear
Kakashi's grin. "Is there a point to this phone call other than to appease your sadism, Kakashi?" Tenzou fetched a protein drink from the fridge.
"Sure," Kakashi replied easily. "Wanted to make sure the kid survived your cock's rise from the grave. I imagine it was explosive. Peel the kid off the wall, explosive."
"We're all fine. Me, Sai, and my zombie cock."
Sai looked up at Tenzou and pointedly stared at Tenzou's groin. He frowned and silently mouthed, "Zom... bie."
"Cool. I'm happy for you. Need anything?"
"Kakashi, it's what, six-thirty? Don't you have breakfast or a meeting or something?"
"Nah, I have at least two hours before Iruka wakes up for my morning beating."
Tenzou addressed the ceiling. "Maybe you should surprise him. Go strap yourself to something."
Kakashi laughed. "Is that your version of 'Go fuck yourself?'"
"Take it as you will."
"Oh I do, Asashi. I do." Kakashi hung up snickering, and Tenzou set the phone into its cradle.
"I like him," Sai announced.
"He's an acquired taste." Tenzou walked around to get a better look at Sai's drawings. Tenzou asleep; Tenzou from below, the angle the one Sai would have had from Tenzou's lap; Tenzou in last night's clothes, looking ferociously pissed; the passkey in Tenzou's hand. "You're so talented," Tenzou murmured.
Sai sat up straighter. "I like hearing that from you."
"I woke up and you weren't here," Sai accused, scooting to the edge of the island. "I found paper in the study. I like your pens. I'm going to take a few home with me. Your showers have lots of hot water. Your sheets smell like you." Sai smiled. "I like it."
Caught somewhere between being happy that Sai had made himself so at home and being concerned over the full-on Sai invasion, Tenzou sipped his drink, processing the rapid-fire commentary. "I went for a run so I could think."
Sai's eyes narrowed, and his hand shot out to snatch a hold of Tenzou's shirt. "The way you think worries me."
"I know," Tenzou said, helplessly amused. "But I needed to--"
"Kakashi told me things."
"Oh?" Tenzou braced. "Did he, now?"
"Yes. Did you really train Neji?"
Tenzou blinked, swapping tracks to keep up with Sai. "Ah, well, I showed him some things when he came to me asking--"
"Were you his Master?" Sai interrupted, eyes huge.
Tenzou snorted, thinking of Neji's thousand-yard stare. "The only person who masters Neji is Neji, himself."
"Oh." Sai mulled that over for at least half a second. "Kakashi asked things, too."
"Dare I ask what they were?"
Sai ticked items off on his free hand. "He wanted to know if we had played, what we had done, if I actually spoke to all the people I did at the club last night, if we had a contract, yet, if we'd been sexual, if you'd told me about Jack, and if I had found something to eat for breakfast."
For a man who lived and breathed boundaries, Kakashi certainly smeared lines in the name of friendly inquiry. Tenzou reminded himself to kick Kakashi's ass the next time they went a sparring round at Gai's dojo. "Kakashi doesn't really understand privacy."
Sai chewed his lip. "Was any of that information supposed to be private?"
Tenzou wondered what it was he'd done, exactly, to merit the Universe granting him both Kakashi and Sai in the same lifetime. He cleared his throat. "You're free to talk about whatever you're comfortable saying, Sai. Although, I'd ask that you please not speak of Jack to anyone other than myself."
"Okay," Sai said softly. He tugged on Tenzou's shirt. "I want a kiss."
Tenzou stepped closer, slid a hand around the back of Sai's neck, and brought their mouths together for a simple kiss. Sai smelled and tasted like toothpaste, and Tenzou hoped Sai had used the one in the guest bathroom and not his own.
Sai's eyes stayed closed when Tenzou pulled away. "I want more?" Sai made it a question.
"I want to talk about that, actually," Tenzou said gently. "Talk about how we proceed and discuss boundaries. I think we need--"
"Boundaries?" Sai looked stricken with panic. "Noun. Indicating border or limit. Dividing line. Do you not like kissing me? Am I doing it wrong? I can't do it better if you don't let me kiss you. I'm not kissing anyone else. I want--"
"Sai." Tenzou's warning tone worked. Sai's lips smacked shut. "I think we can keep kissing on the menu, and we can keep Scene on the table, too, but we need to talk about my limitations on sex."
Sai's dark eyes flew wide, and he planted both hands on Tenzou's shoulders. "Does this mean you're not going to try to make me learn about Scene from somewhere else, first?"
"After last night, Sai, I think it's safe to say I'm not comfortable with you learning from anyone but me." Tenzou hadn't known exactly how true that was until the instant the words were out in the open. But the weighty admission was made easier by Sai's grin and squeal of delight.
"But!" Tenzou yelled, steadying Sai when the kid almost plummeted to the floor in his enthusiasm. "But we need to talk about--"
"I like you like this!" Sai interjected, kissing Tenzou's cheek. "I like you after a run. You should run every day. You should run again right now! You're honest. I like it. I can even put up with all the talking you have to have in order to do what I want to--"
"Not another word until I say." Tenzou put command and authority into the order, and Sai sucked a sharp breath. He tucked his feet under his ass and knelt on the counter, one knee smudging a startlingly life-like drawing of Tenzou face-fucking Sai's mouth.
"Sai," Tenzou said, finding a fount of hidden patience unlocked by the boy's eagerness and particular brand of sweetness. "Do you care about me? Nod or shake your head to answer."
Though Tenzou knew where he was going in his line of reasoning, that question was harder to ask than Tenzou expected, but the metal bands around his heart and lungs loosened when Sai very slowly and deliberately nodded an affirmative, chin practically touching chest.
"Good," Tenzou praised, loving the way Sai's lips pursed in concentration. "I care about you, too. When we care about people, we do not want to hurt them. Correct?" Another painstaking nod. "One of the ways I protect you and show I care is sticking to the rules and guidelines we agreed upon. You were even kind enough to point out how I stuck to them last night, yes?" This nod was faster.
Tenzou took a deep breath. "Okay, then a way you show me you care is to listen to what I am and am not comfortable doing and respect those boundaries. Just like you said last night. When I told you..." Tenzou faltered, and Sai grabbed Tenzou's hand. Sai brought it up to Sai's face and rubbed his roughened cheek against Tenzou's palm. He nodded again.
"Okay, then." Tenzou cupped Sai's chin. "Let's get something to eat, drink, and talk about how we go forward." Sai vibrated, and Tenzou chuckled. "You can speak, now, Sai."
"I want everything forward with you," Sai said on an explosive breath. "I want to try it all. Kakashi said there were checklists. You talked about those when you were still lying to yourself and thinking you weren't the one to teach me about Scene 'cause I'd be an idiot and want someone else. Can I see one? A checklist, not an idiot. I know what an idiot looks like. Can I see all of the checklists? Are there more than one? Because Kakashi seemed to think you knew more than even I thought you did, and I meant it when I said I needed extremes, though, last night was more effective than I thought, and I just called you 'Daddy' and you jerked me off, and it was amazing, but I think it could be more fun if there were rope involved? So..."
Tenzou fixed a fast breakfast, listening to Sai babble at ninety miles an hour, and he shepherded Sai into the living room, thinking it was going to be a very long but very... entertaining... conversation.~*~
Author's Note: Check out the Main Story Entry
for extras, art, and more!
Much love & zombie cocks,